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| Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. |
So when abroad, the things I rely on the most and take for granted most of the time because it almost seems like a given are brought to light. Health for example, simply being able to breathe, see, hear, taste, feel, etc. are such a blessing that I never think twice about it. But when I get sick, of course I will give it a second thought and when you add being thrown into a foreign country, now it's a whole different level of stress. At home, I would know where to go, who to call. Here, I'm like a sitting duck and pretty clueless and with a light degree of helplessness. There's only so much I could have prepared for in any case of a health emergency. When the real deal happens, preparation is still limited. I realized that after I got an aura during class (usually a prodrome to a migraine) I didn't even know where the student health center was...-_-x LESIGH. But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Later on in the week I started to get headaches, feelings of lethargy, muscle pain, lightheadness, overall weakness, and stomach pains...the list goes on. On top of that I was out travelling so when my adrenaline is up from all the fun, those symptoms are masked for the time being but are constantly being built up. I finally did some research and located the university's health service and made an appointment to see the doctor. Unbeknownst (heh heh, always wanted to use that word), I would be diagnosed with possible GI bleeding or ulcer...SAAAY WUUUUT?! At that time, I did not really know the severity of it but ulcer sounded like a serious sounding word. I went to urgent care and was seen immediately. Honestly, when I look back at it all...I see an overwhelming amount of blessings in disguise through it all. Just to name a few, I didn't have to pay for the university health service, one of the best hospitals in HK is right across the street from my apartment, thankfully my roommate was in the apartment before I headed to the hospital and she was so willing just to lend an ear and also lend me her portable iPhone charger (thanks Amy for checking up on me throughout the night), I was able to Facetime and LINE at any given time with my parents because they're now in the same time zone as me, I didn't have to wait to long to be seen at the hospital, and it all costed HKD $100...which is less than USD $15. And thank God, I ended up not having the previously mentioned prognosis. -_- I would go into details of what happened, but let's just say what happens in Hong Kong, stays in Hong Kong...to the few lucky souls know the story...I will be most grateful if you kept it to yourselves and laughed about it 5489432824 years later. But if you, reader, really must know...in exchange for your most embarrassing tale, I shall share you mine. But anywho...I am alive and well!
Also during these past two weeks of madness, I also had trouble with my night corrective lenses. It stopped correcting one side of my vision and wearing it was getting uncomfortable so I stopped wearing it for a while. Throughout this whole mess...I must say I am thankful for technology. Even though it does suck up a lot of my life -_- when used properly it is really helpful. I was able to call my optometrist back home for free via Google Voice (I'm going to expound on that later in post about STUDY ABROAD SURVIVAL TIPS) and tell him about my situation. He's familiar with HK's system for eye careand explained the difference between optometrists and ophthalmologists (can prescribe meds) here. I still haven't figured things out for my vision but thankfully one of my friends has a relative in that sector.
And no, that's not all folks. The cherry on top! My retainers broke this morning. -_- Don't ask me how or why...it just broke. =_____________=
SO what is the moral of the story?...And what did I learn from all of this? Well, there's a lot actually. And surprisingly I am not being a Negative Nancy about it either...more of a "humble Helen" (made that up...Idk if that phrase even exist -.-). Lots of humble pie yo.
I am taking a course on Trees for Green and Livable Cities and one of the key points my professor keeps mentioning is that humans often mistaken ourselves as keystone species. We actually aren't...because if we were completely wiped off the face of this earth...in theory, this earth can still go on and survive (perhaps even better than where it's at now...shameless plug for environmental sustainability. GO GREEN!). That notion just reminded me of how small and insignificant I really am in this whole array of infinite universe, time, and space. It also reminded me of Matthew 6:25-30:
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?I believe yes, we shouldn't worry our lives away about things such as what to wear, what to eat, because worrying doesn't really help much or change our situation, but this is an even greater reminder of how dependent humans are on God's grace whether we acknowledge it or not. So are the plants and animals and the existence of the earth itself that is held in suspense by grace...but I think humans are even more so because we are entirely reliant on everything around us...and as we progress into the future, we cause ourselves to become even more reliant on things we "create." In conclusion, I am always blown away when I realize it is by grace that I am even alive at this moment typing this next...word. Word. Lol...is that too narcissistic to agree with myself? Anywho, back to the passage...end of verse 26, "Are you not much more valuable than they?" And that's amazing, well maybe PETA might disagree -_- but perhaps the providence extended towards nature is evermore extended to humans (I mean we were offered salvation despite everything we do to not deserve it!) and worldly realities of our even greater reliance upon it...if that makes sense. I am not the most articulate but this epiphany sounds about right in my noggin.
In addition to that...after visiting the hospital and sitting in the waiting room. The realities of life weren't something I could easily brush aside. There were so many sick and hurting people in that room that day. All were probably in worse conditions than me and probably a majority were chronic. And I got seen a lot faster than all. Most of them were alone. I had felt pretty lonely too, but I knew I wasn't. I knew I had a family, a roommates across the road, but some of these people might not have had that assurance. And if I didn't have those assurances either, would I still say I was really alone? Well, I would say no, because I have Jesus Christ, but there's a good chance not everyone in that room could say that. So it's hard to say there was a lot of hope in that room that even if all is lost, would can this still be sung "it is well with my soul"?
As I sat reflecting, if I lost my vision, if I got extremely sick, if I lost my teeth (this is actually a recurring nightmare of mine), if lost my life...what can I still be confident in? I think being alone that day really helped me focus more on God and how I am entirely dependent upon His grace for my next breath. And most importantly, if I lost everything, I am still loved. There's nothing in this world that I can earn, be it money or respect that can be enough for me to buy my way to God's love. God simply loves me because He created me.
On another point...relying on God's grace can be demonstrated through the act of going into the the missions field. Christians can easily live a comfortable life at home and just go about attending church and fellowship and bible studies but not "rely" on God for everything. But when thrown in the missions field, automatically all our hearts are turned to God and we can only have faith that He is the only provider for all our strength.
Life is really fragile and life here on this earth is temporary too. (Not to mention...the typhoon Hong Kong just went through. We're safe here! Keep those who have been affected by the storm in our prayers!)
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21And if anything, these itchy bug bites should be temporary as well. :3
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